Welcome to my world, my world of turbos, tyre smoke, and tuning...
Tuning cars, driving cars, testing parts, and complaining about everything. It's my job, and a the majority of my non-work life too...
"Oh Emm Gee, my car does 0-60 in less than 4.5sec, it's almost a supercar, your car is way slower, it's 0-60 is 6sec" says all kinds of clowns with pretty standard 4wd turbo cars, usually to people with cars with far more power; almost like they've never raced a car in their lives.
In fact 0-60mph sells cars- A whole lot of people seem to choose their car by its 0-60, which frankly, is retarded.
The fact is though, when the fuck is the official manufacturer 0-60mph figures relevant in the real world? Pretty much never, that's when.
Even if the situation arose, how many owners are able to hit the factory 0-60 figures? Not many, that's for sure, and for lots of reasons too.
First up, the majority of factory figures are done by GOOD drivers (and truth be told, most people can't drive for shit), after countless attempts, so a typical owner can't usually get within about a second of it. And I mean REAL times too, not a speedo and a stopwatch.
Secondly, how many owners do full on, and I mean REALLY full on, max revs, clutch dumping, launches, especially in transmission destroying 4wd cars? Again, next to none.
I've had hundreds, maybe thousands, of impromptu races off the lights over the years, and the amount of cars I've came up against who's actually done a full-on launch I can probably count on my hands- Most just fanny off the lights gently and then nail the throttle a second later; even highly tuned cars racing to big speeds.
People might like to think they're straight out of Street Outlaws, but more are more like Driving Miss Daisy.
Thirdly, and maybe most importantly in the UK at least- This ain't Fast And The Furious or Street Outlaws, so a VERY small % of races happen from a standing start; it's almost all roll racing, so your 0-60mph time means cock all.
I think some of it, the bit that's not total blinkers/pride in their own shit, is that some people really think 0-60 acceleration corresponds to acceleration at other speeds too, but it doesn't, at all. 0-60mph is ALL about the launch.
I've timed tons of cars over the years due to my work, and it's fair to say, aside from really, truly, fucking ballistic things that also have great startline traction, and that's rare, 0-60mph does not tally up with rolling start acceleration at all.
The old Dragon Performance FD RX7 drag car was a great example of this. Fuck yeah it launched well compared to most cars, but it still was often hampered by it's first 60ft or so, hence doing 160mph by the quarter mile, but still running low 9s, despite some 'slower' cars in the 8s despite only hitting about 150mph, due to being able to launch off the line like a bullet out of a gun.
In fact, I had some timing data from a run where due to wheelspin the 0-60 time was 3.5seconds, which is still ridiculously fast, but 1 whole second slower than the legendary Bugatti Veyron.
But DESPITE being 1sec slower to 60mph, it still got to 150mph two seconds FASTER than a Veyron- That means it did 60-150mph THREE FUCKING SECONDS faster than the 1000bhp 4wd mega bucks Bugatti hypercar.
So in the real world, ie a typical rolling start race, despite the 0-60 time being way way slower, the RX7 would absolutely fucking annihilate the Veyron, which illustrates my point nicely.
It's just as relevant with standard production cars, especially now with so many hot hatches having 4wd and twin clutch DSG boxes; both MASSIVE advantages on the 0-60mph sprint.
Lately all I see is people wanking off about the new Golf R and A45 AMG with their 4wd and twin clutch boxes, and saying they're sooooooo much faster than, say, the new Civic Type-R for example, purely going from the 0-60 times and various "Race" videos on the internet from the likes of TopGear etc.
Fuck yeah they're much faster to 60 from a standing start, as the Civic just wheelspins when launching hard, and like most manual cars, it loses about 0.5sec on the 1st-2nd gearchange, compared to almost no time for a DSG box. BUT...
BUT... Look at the times at the end of the video, the 0-60 and 0-100mph figures they achieved, and then subtract the 0-60 time from the 0-100mph time, to calculate the real world, and relevant, 60-100mph time...
The Civic is actually 0.1sec FASTER from a rolling start, and that's despite the advantage of the DSG box in the Golf.
So there you go, unless you REALLY do standing start racing, and REALLY do zero mechanical sympathy hardcore transmission destroying launches, 0-60mph means fuck all, so if you're gonna do anything with it, use it to subtract from your cars 0-100mph time to see a real world acceleration figure.
Overall... STOP FUCKING QUOTING 0-60 TIMES! YOU SOUND LIKE A MORON!
Hi, I'm Stav...
You may or may not have heard of me, but I've spent the last 15 years working full-time in the tuning scene, and the last decade or so writing for various car magazines.